You may have developed high levels of ‘approval’ thinking and behaviour that could be acting as a handbrake on your success.
Hi, I am Karl Perry.
I coach people to develop thinking habits that create success.
Some thinking habits act as a handbrake on success.
Let’s check that handbrake for you.
The more these statements describe you, the more oppositional you are at the moment:
- Overly concerned with being liked and accepted
- Insecure about your abilities
- Feel unsure even when you know what to do
- A follower rather than a leader
- Say and do things just to make an impression
- Prefer to imitate others rather than be yourself
- Reluctant to express your opinion
- Easily intimidated
If you think any of these statements describe you then your ‘approval’ thinking on the circumplex could be high.
‘Approval’ thinking is a security based style and will act as a handbrake.
The good news is that you can change this!
With the right coaching and support you can take the handbrake off and speed up your success by using thinking styles that accelerate your performance.
If ‘approval’ thinking is a handbrake for you, here are a couple of suggestions to get you started towards more success. Just pick one for now and come back next week to try another:
- Voice your own opinions. Learn to think and act for yourself. Accept the fact that not everything you do will be met with approval.
- Learn to become more self-directed by setting some personal goals. Start by setting a goal around something simple, work to accomplish it, and congratulate yourself on your achievement.
- Recognise you are a valuable person just because you are you – not because people like or approve of you.
- Realise that approval-seeking can result in one-sided relationships. Others may take advantage of you knowing that you won’t complain and risk losing their approval.
- Practice facing confrontations. Learn to handle conflict constructively.
- Examine your need for approval, and think about how you have developed it. Ask yourself why you accepted this need in the first place, and why you continue to accept it.
- Talk to yourself when you encounter disapproval. Tell yourself that the words and actions of another are just that; no more, no less. They do not affect your feelings of self-worth unless you allow them to.
- Write down what you hear yourself say. Learn to identify and change speech patterns that reflect a need for approval.
- Recognise your strong points. Write down all the things that make you special, and refer to this list often. Learn to focus on your unique strengths and skills.
Let me know in the comments which one you are working on this week and I will check with you within a week. If you prefer you can email me.
Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.