You may have developed high levels of ‘avoidance’ thinking and behaviour that could be acting as a handbrake on your success.
Hi, I am Karl Perry. I coach people to develop thinking habits that create success.
Some thinking habits act as a handbrake on success.
Let’s check that handbrake for you.
The more these statements describe you, the more avoidance-oriented you are at the moment:
- Self-doubt and self-blame
- Feel overwhelmed by circumstances
- Recently experienced something traumatic or disappointing
- Preoccupied with your own concerns
- Have difficulty establishing relationships
- Uncomfortable discussing feelings
- Have difficulty making decisions
- Lack of initiative
- Have few strong interests
If you think any of these statements describe you then your ‘Avoidance’ thinking on the circumplex could be high.
‘Avoidance’ thinking is a security based style and will act as a handbrake.
The good news is that you can change this!
With the right coaching and support you can take the handbrake off and speed up your success by using thinking styles that accelerate your performance.
If avoidance is a handbrake for you, I have a couple of suggestions to get you started. Just pick one for now and come back next week to try another:
- Determine what is threatening you and provoking your avoidance thinking. It could be a reaction to a traumatic life event. Write down your thoughts, talk to a trusted friend, or seek professional advice.
- Focus on your feelings. Examine only the current reasoning behind your feelings of self-doubt. Ask yourself: “What’s bothering me right now?”. Then take positive action by confronting and correcting the destructive “self-talk” that is causing the avoidance reaction.
- Recognise that your personal worth is unrelated to your accomplishments, setbacks, relationships, or feelings.
- Accomplish one small task every day. Make it something you usually worry about or avoid. Focus on thoroughly completing it, and then congratulate yourself on a job well done.
- Concentrate on interacting with people who provoke feelings of insecurity in you. Make the first move by saying “good morning,” for example, and eventually start a conversation.
- Deal with your fear of confrontation by making a commitment to handle everything as it happens, instead of avoiding uncomfortable situations in hopes that they will resolve themselves.
- Try to let others know what you are feeling. Communicate your feelings by starting statements with “I” (“I feel hurt and angry when you …”)
If it helps you to commit, let me know in the comments which one you are working on this week and I will check back with you in a week.
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